Thursday, April 10, 2014
Spring...Chu!
Bathed in sunshine and caressed by the breeze, with my heavy backpack, I walked slowly and steady to the bus stop. I can barely open my eyes, but the fluffy cotton-candy clouds floating in the bright blue sky was hard to ignore. The visit of sun finally dispelled the winter chill. Along with the breeze, the branches were gently swaying, and the green leaves were dancing. Yellow tulips on the sidewalks were blooming and foiled by the green green grass. Magpies were jumping here and there, showing off their velvet black-and-turquoise feathers. My careless steps almost had me tread on a squirrel's furry tail. I was glad I didn't because I can't imagine I have to run for my life with this loaded backpack. Joining a little cluster of commuters at the bus stop, I enjoyed this bright, breezy, brisk morning -- so beautiful and peaceful.
Aaah Chu! A fit of sneezing came with the breeze.
Ah Chu! Ah Chu! Another sneezing fit came with another breeze.
Ah Chu! Chu! Chu! Oh boy...Three at a time!
Aaah Chu! Chu! Chu! Chu! Chu! Chu! Six made the record.
Rubbing my itchy eyes and taking out a tablet of Claritin from my backpack, I knew Mother Nature was reminding me: It's time for Spring medication.
(*Spring time is beautiful, but spring time could be painful. Whenever spring comes, I know allergy comes along. My sneezing always informs me the arrival of allergy season. I wrote the moment about my first sneezing this year. I wonder how I can make this piece of writing flow better. Thank you!)
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I also get Spring allergies! Makes for a mixed bag of emotions toward Spring. I like your writing. I wonder if you make your first paragraph flow as you were walking. Such as: walked past yellow tulips, feeling the breeze on my face as I walk briskly. Might help.Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your descriptions, such as 'bathed in sunshine...branches gently swaying...leaves dancing.' It made me feel like I was walking outside in the bright beautiful spring day!! I think your first paragraph had more descriptive words that create images, so I wonder if you add more of that to the second paragraph, maybe that would connect the two and flow a little more? Great piece!!!
ReplyDeleteI like how you illustrate the good and the bad aspects of spring. Maybe adding a bit more to the second paragraph would balance the piece out a bit, since it primarily is about the beautiful description of spring.
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