10-year-old Lydia likes to read.
She reads a variety of books.
She likes to read books about different cultures; she likes to read books about great people; she likes to read books about outstanding females.
Lydia likes to read with her favorite beverage at hand.
In summer days, she loves to read under the shade of trees with her icy-ice lemon tea.
The icy-ice lemon tea cools and calms her, so she can focus on her reading.
In winter days, she loves to read on a sofa with a furry blanket and a cup of extremely hot chocolate.
The furry blanket and the extremely hot chocolate warm her, so she can focus on her reading.
One summer day, Lydia feels anxious because she can't focus on her reading.
No matter how many glasses of icy-ice lemon tea she drinks, she is not cool and calm.
It takes a summer for her to finish a paragraph.
She thinks to herself: "I'll read more in winter."
When winter comes, she has her blanket and extremely hot chocolate ready.
She climbs up the sofa and opens a book.
No matter how tightly she tugs herself in the blanket, and no matter how many cups of extremely hot chocolate she has, she does not feel warm.
NOT AT ALL!
Lydia starts to worry.
She worries that she can't read many multicutural books as usual; she worries that she can't read many biographies of great people as usual; she worries that she can't read many life stories of outstanding females as usual.
She worries that she can only read one paragraph a year from now on.
Lydia stands in front of her bookshelves and glimpses all her books with sad eyes as if she was saying goodbye to them.
Somehow, her eyes fix at the section where she keeps her favorite books. She feels that she is facing the biggest challenge in her life as many great people had in theirs. She feels that she needs to face up to the challenges.
She decides to save the summer heat for winter and winter cold for summer.
Immediately, Lydia takes out an ice chest that her dad uses for fishing trips from the storage. She open the lid of the ice chest and put it outdoor in snowy winter days. At the end of winter, she puts the ice chest back in the storage and waits for the coming of summer.
Summer finally arrives. Lydia is happy and exciting as opening the ice chest. She closes her eyes and is ready to enjoy the icy-ice cold air. Nothing. She feels nothing. No icy-ice cold air.
(*I am trying to write a story for my picture book. This is the half of the story. I haven't come up with a story title, so I call it "Hot & Cold" temporarily.)
I enjoyed your story. I was intrigued by what she seemed to be going through. I know most of us might be able to relate to reading a book with a cool drink or snuggling up in a favorite blanket with a good book. I was a little confused with the last two paragraphs. I felt it didn't flow with the rest of the text. Maybe it will tie into the rest of the book? I like your title, but I think you could maybe have something a bit more catchy. Maybe something like Lydia Loses herself or Seasons of change. I'm not the best with titles, but I think it needs a bit more spiciness to it. Good luck and nice story!
ReplyDeleteI liked your story and you are a very creative writer. You come up with interesting topics that make reading what you write very engaging. You also described using your senses, which is was the topic of my mini-lesson, and it could be used as a mentor text.
ReplyDeleteGreat story!! As I was reading I was picturing it as a picture book!! I was wondering the emotions Lydia may feel - you describe how she feels in some ways, but maybe use a little more in depth words for her emotions to open up that aspect of the story? Great story, thank you!! I hope we can read the rest of it!!
ReplyDeleteI too thought it would make a great picture book as I was reading it! I was imagining the pictures and the words being placed in create locations. Amazing writing!
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